Let's be honest: "networking" sounds terrible. It conjures images of awkward cocktail parties, forced LinkedIn messages, and transparent self-interest.
But here's the thing: most PM jobs are filled through relationships, not job boards. The referral advantage is real. People hire people they know—or people who come recommended by people they know.
So how do you build those relationships without feeling like a sleazy self-promoter? Let me show you a better way.
Why Networking Actually Works
First, let's understand why networking is so effective for PM careers specifically:
PM is a trust-based role. Companies are hiring someone to make important decisions. A referral provides social proof that you're trustworthy.
PM requires broad skills. Resumes can't capture everything. Conversations reveal whether you can think, communicate, and collaborate.
PM communities are small. Product people tend to know each other. Being known in the community creates compounding opportunities.
PMs like helping. Most PMs remember what it was like to break in. They'll take calls and offer advice if approached well.
This isn't about "using" people. It's about building genuine relationships in a community of professionals with shared interests.
The Right Mindset
Before tactics, let's fix the mindset:
Networking isn't about extracting value. It's about building mutual relationships over time.
Most conversations shouldn't have an ask. Learn, share, be interesting. The opportunities come later.
Quality over quantity. Ten genuine relationships beat 500 LinkedIn connections.
Think long-term. The person who helps you might not be useful today. That's fine.
Be useful first. Before asking for anything, think about what you can offer.
Tactical Approaches That Work
Informational Interviews
This is the bread and butter. You reach out to a PM, ask for 20-30 minutes of their time, and ask thoughtful questions about their experience.
How to request one:
Email or LinkedIn message. Keep it short:
Hi [Name],
I'm a [current role] exploring a transition to product management. I came across your profile and was impressed by your work on [specific thing].
Would you have 20 minutes for a coffee or call? I'd love to hear about your path into PM and any advice you might have.
No pressure either way—I know you're busy. Thanks for considering it.
[Your name]
What makes this effective:
- •Specific (you mentioned something about them)
- •Low commitment (20 minutes)
- •Genuine (you're asking to learn, not asking for a job)
- •Respectful (acknowledges their time is valuable)
Success rates: Expect maybe 20-30% of people to respond positively. Don't be discouraged by non-responses.
The Questions to Ask
Don't waste their time with questions you could Google. Ask things that require their personal experience:
- •"How did you make the transition into PM? What worked, what didn't?"
- •"What's something you wish you knew before becoming a PM?"
- •"What's different about PM at [company type/size] compared to what you expected?"
- •"What do you look for when hiring PMs on your team?"
- •"What's an underrated skill that's helped you succeed as a PM?"
Listen more than you talk. Take notes. Ask follow-ups.
After the Conversation
This is where most people drop the ball.
Immediately after:
- •Send a thank-you note (email is fine)
- •Reference something specific from the conversation
- •Don't ask for anything else yet
Over time:
- •Follow up when you have genuine updates ("You mentioned I should try X—I did, here's what happened")
- •Share relevant articles or resources they might find interesting
- •Congratulate them on wins you see on LinkedIn
- •Stay on their radar without being annoying
The goal is to stay in touch naturally. Most "networking" fails because people only reach out when they need something.
Leveraging LinkedIn Effectively
LinkedIn gets a bad reputation, but it works if you use it well:
Optimize your profile:
- •Clear headline about what you're pursuing
- •Summary that shows your personality, not just a resume recap
- •Activity that demonstrates your interest in product (sharing articles, commenting thoughtfully)
Engage authentically:
- •Comment on posts from people in your target space (insightful comments, not "Great post!")
- •Share content that demonstrates your thinking (original posts, not just reshares)
- •Engage in PM communities and groups
Connect strategically:
- •Connect with people after meetings or meaningful interactions
- •Add a note when connecting: "Hi [Name], enjoyed our conversation at [event]. Would love to stay connected."
- •Don't mass-connect with strangers expecting responses
Building Through Content
If you want to scale your network, create content:
- •Write about what you're learning on the path to PM
- •Share frameworks and insights from your current work
- •Document projects and case studies
- •Comment thoughtfully on others' content
You don't need to be an expert. "Here's what I'm learning about PM as I study for interviews" is valuable content for others in the same position.
The best networking is inbound: people reaching out to you because they found your content valuable.
Communities and Groups
PM communities can accelerate networking:
Where to find them:
- •Lenny's Newsletter Slack
- •Product Hunt community
- •Local PM meetups (check Meetup.com)
- •Company-specific alumni groups
- •PM-focused Discord servers
How to participate:
- •Lurk first to understand the culture
- •Answer questions where you can add value
- •Ask thoughtful questions of your own
- •Don't immediately pitch yourself or ask for referrals
Build credibility by being helpful. Opportunities will follow.
The Referral Ask
At some point, you'll want to ask someone for a referral. Here's how to do it without being awkward:
When to ask:
- •After you've built a genuine relationship (not on first meeting)
- •When you're actively applying to their company
- •When you have a specific role in mind
How to ask:
Hi [Name],
Hope you're well. I'm applying to [role] at [Company] and wondered if you'd be comfortable referring me. I know it's a significant ask—I'm happy to share my resume and any context that would be helpful.
Totally understand if you'd prefer not to; it won't affect our relationship either way.
Key elements:
- •Specific ask (not "let me know if anything comes up")
- •Give them an out (no pressure)
- •Make it easy (offer materials)
Most people want to help if they think you're qualified. The relationship building happens before this moment.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
The instant ask: Don't request an intro to someone's boss in your first conversation. Build the relationship first.
The generic message: "I see you work at [Company], would love to connect" gets ignored. Be specific about why them.
The one-and-done: Don't have one coffee chat and expect a job referral. Relationships take time.
The over-follow-up: Monthly "just checking in!" messages are annoying. Have a reason to reach out.
The value extraction: If every interaction is you asking for something, people will avoid you.
The Long Game
Here's the secret about networking: the best time to do it is when you don't need anything.
Build relationships during the normal course of your career. Help others. Be genuinely curious about people. Share what you know.
When you eventually do need help—a referral, advice, an introduction—you'll have people who genuinely want to help you because you've invested in the relationship.
Networking isn't a tactic you deploy during job searches. It's a way of operating throughout your career.
Start now, be genuine, and play the long game. The opportunities will come.